Here to Stay English Edition
by meliecom
Summary: "You didn't tell me, you didn't tell me it was over, I need to hear it from you. After everything we've been through together, you can't just walk away without telling me that it's over, I deserve better." One Shot, Post-Episode for 3x09/3x10, because I cried my eyes out, because it can't just end like that, because I needed to write it...


_Hey folks! I finally decided to translate this as I was quite proud of myself! _

_I knoooow that I really should be continuing my "Kiss That Missed" fic, but I just needed to write something after Rookie Blue's last episode, I just couldn't help myself! Am I the only one that couldn't stop crying in the last fifteen minutes? No, seriously, do they wanna kiss us? Jerry's speech and then Sam and Andy? I just couldn't stop sobbing! Anyway…_

_Here's my version of what happened after the episode! Warning, it's really Angsty! It's also my first M rated fic, even if it's not graphic, but it's not what I'm used to, so I hope you'll love it anyway!_

_I'll see you at the bottom of the page!_

* * *

I quickly got out of the Penny, not being able to tolerate all those people that were here to say a last goodbye to Jerry. Some didn't know him that well, some had knew him forever, while others were there just as a support for their friends. However, in all this crowd of people here for the same reasons that I was, I was still feeling alone.

Traci's last words were still going around in my head, again and again.

"_Sammy. The best man. No truer words were ever spoken. I trust you with my life because... Because no matter what happens, I know you'll always have my back. I love you, man."_

He trusted me, he trusted me with his life and in the end, the last thing that I did was disappoint him. I hadn't been there for him, and I had only watched him as all the life in him faded away in this sick bastard's house while we were waiting for the ambulance. I did nothing to help him, and he trusted me with his life.

"_I love you, man."_

I would've never picked Jerry for this kind of men, the one to put all his feeling out in the open, in all these years I had knew him, I had never heard him say that to anybody, not me, not to his friends. The fact that he was talking like that about me in his wedding speech was giving me goose bumps.

I was his best friend, his best man, the one he thought he could always rely on, and me, what did I do? I just stood there and watched him die.

It was raining outside the bar and I let the rain run through my hair as I was watching the dark cold sky of this late evening. The sound of the door opening got me out of my thoughts but I didn't bother to turn around to see who it was, I was already sure that it was her and I didn't feel like getting into this conversation right now, but I knew I would have to at some point.

"Hey" I finally heard and I turned back to face Andy.

"You were right. The guy was playing me." She said while lifting her hand, admitting that she had been wrong, making it a point not to look at me in the eyes.

"Sorry" I only said, furrowing my brow.

"You know, for the record, I would it again, 'cause if there's even a small chance that he was telling the truth..." She said while raising both her hands in front of her to show me that she was really thinking what she was saying.

I looked at the young woman that was standing in front of me for a few seconds. It was a totally different woman than the one that had stood there couple of years back. This rookie that was always questioning her actions, always asking me if what she had done was right or not. No, the woman that was in front of me tonight was a real cop, standing tall in front of me, telling the entire world that she wasn't regretting her decision and the way that she acted, even if it hadn't gone accordingly to plan. I couldn't help myself but be proud of her even after what happened in the last few days, letting a small smile cross my lips so briefly that she probably thought she had only imagined it.

"I know. You're right" I finally said before clearing my throat. "It's our job" I continued on a serious tone.

"I know you're grieving... and I know we all grieve in our own way, but don't take this out on me." She said, her voice becoming shakier with every word she spoke.

Her big brown eyes were filled with tears and I couldn't stop myself from feeling bad for making her that sad. I shouldn't have treated her this way, but I couldn't think about another way to act right now. It was just not the right moment to be around me.

"I... I did take it out on you. I'm sorry." I said after an instant, hoping that she wouldn't be too much destroyed by what I was about to do.

"If you really blame me for Jerry" She started to say before I interrupted her.

"I don't, I don't." I quickly said.

No, I wouldn't blame her for Jerry's death. I was the one that was to blame, I was the one that was in charge, I was the one to decide not to go see that cab driver, I was the superior officer on this case, and she wasn't. It was my entire fault.

"Well, then why are you so mad at me?" She asked me her eyes begging me to explain her why I was acting like that.

"I'm not mad. I just can't… I can't do this anymore." I answered slowly, not being able to lie to her any longer.

"Do what?" She asked me again, her eyes full of unshed tears, she seemed to have already understand, but she didn't seem like she wanted to believe it, like it was just a nightmare and she was going to wake up at any moment now.

"I can't be a cop and be with you." I simply answered her.

"Sam, this has nothing to do with our job." She tried to convince me, shaking her head, but I interrupted her before she could go further.

"We knew this was trouble even before we started, okay?" I replied while shaking my head too.

It wasn't entirely true, but I really had to make her understand that I wasn't going to change my mind on this decision.

"Okay, look, I… I'm trying to talk to you okay? I… I want to go through this with you." She said in a voice that she tried to keep steady.

Some fragments of a conversation we had a couple of months back were coming back in my head as she said those words.

"_Promise me something. If things go south with us, you know, I… and I... I don't want them to. I... I hope they don't, but if they do, then don't... don't just walk out the door, okay? Let's promise to work at it."_

This day was long gone now, the day where I had promised her that she "_wouldn't get rid of me without a fight". _Tonight, I was standing in front of her, under the rain, and my thoughts weren't clear at all. I couldn't hold this promise; I just couldn't do it, not after everything that had happened in the last week.

I wasn't able to continue doing my job - not without putting everyone around me in danger - while being with her. I didn't know how I was going to get myself out of this mess, but starting by not being with her would help, or at least I hoped it would. Maybe I should have thought this through a little more, but I never had been the kind to overthink this stuff, I had always been an impulsive kind of a guy.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not myself. I don't know, okay? But this is my feeling in my gut right now, all right? I can't do this anymore." I repeated, trying to convince her that I was really sure that I needed to do this.

"No. You don't mean this." She only said, still not believing me, or maybe not wanting to believe me.

"Someday we'll be able to be friends again." I started while knowing that clearly those weren't the one she needed to hear right now.

"Don't! Don't do that." She interrupted me, shaking her head clearly pissed at me; her eyes were full of tears that she still tried stopping from falling. "Don't take everything that we are and... and button up our relationship with some stupid cliche." She continued, her voice breaking over the last couple of words, becoming suddenly a lot higher than it was normally.

"Are you saying it's over?" She asked when she saw that I wasn't going to comment on the last thing that she had said.

She looked around her, still not believing it. She wanted me to answer, she wanted me to tell her that it was over, but even though I was really trying, I really wanted to tell her, but I just wasn't able to. I just looked at her, wishing that it wouldn't have come down to this, but unfortunately, it did.

"Then leave." She said shaking her head, daring me to go, like she knew how much I hated the fact that I had to do this. "Okay? Get in your truck and leave." She continued still shaking her head, not bothering to stop herself for crying anymore.

I opened my mouth; I still had so much to say to her… I would've wanted to tell her that I didn't want to leave, tell her that I was sorry for Jerry, that everything was my fault. However I only starred at her, mouth open, wanting to tell her that I was sorry and that I didn't really meant what I had just said, but the words stayed stuck in my throat and I finally turned to face my truck.

Taking a step towards it, I heard a sob and I literally felt like my heart already damaged was breaking even more. I closed my eyes while opening the door, making it a point not to look at her, because I knew really well that I wouldn't be able to go through with this if I looked at her.

I started the engine, sighing deeply as I asked myself if I was taking the right decision, but it wouldn't change anything anyway, what was done was done and I couldn't change it now.

It was true, I couldn't continue living like that, I was looking at Traci a few minutes ago, she was miserable, totally destroyed, I couldn't even start to think about letting Andy go through the same thing. Everybody was saying it since Jerry's death: that's the kind of things that happens in our line of work, all that is part of the risk, and I knew that when I got in the academy.

I was the man that nothing bothered. Yes, I had friends; I had a sister even if I almost never saw her. Yes, those people would be sad if something happened to me, but this week, seeing how Traci was feeling, I had suddenly realized that Andy would be exactly in the same state if the same thing would've happened to me. I couldn't live with myself knowing that someday it could happen; that maybe I would leave her feeling so destroyed.

For an instant I had even given a thought about changing jobs, but the truth was that I couldn't be anyone else than this person that I was; I am Sam Swarek, police officer, and I knew that I couldn't be anything else.

I couldn't go on like this, like the last week, my heart skipping a beat each time the phone rang, afraid that it would be someone telling me that something had happened to her; even if I was trying to convince myself that it wouldn't be that bad, I knew that if something happened to Andy, I would probably end up in the same place in which Nash was.

I wasn't able to concentrate on my job while worrying about McNally, asking myself what would happen if the same thing happened to me or to her. I wasn't able to concentrate because all that I could think about was this young woman that was always in my head. This young woman that I… that I couldn't imagine my life without.

A driver behind me honked and I suddenly realized that the light had turned green a few seconds ago. Trying to get a hold on myself I quickly crossed the intersection before turning in my street, parking my truck in my driveway before turning the engine off.

I lowered my head on the wheel, trying to breathe normally as I realized what I had done. I just told Andy, this young woman that was all I could think about for the last couple of years, I had just told her that it was over. I got out of my truck and climbed the stairs leading to my apartment.

Dropping my keys on the small table near the door, I got to the other side of the room and sat roughly on my couch. Even if I kept repeating myself that it was the most reasonable thing to do right now, I still wasn't able to get rid of this deep pain that was in my stomach since I had left the bar.

I finally decided on taking a shower, maybe the hot water would clear my head. Unfortunately, it didn't quite have the effect I expected, but at least I wasn't covered in the cold rain that was still falling outside.

After putting on an old t-shirt and a pair of pyjama pants, I slid under my blanket, closing my eyes, trying not to think about everything that had happened tonight, today, yesterday, all week… I would've given anything just for all those things not to happen, but I knew very well that this wasn't the way it worked.

I finally was able to fall asleep, but my dreams where full of memories, sentences, small moments, pieces of conversations I had with Andy.

"_If you don't leave now, there's no going back." "I don't wanna go back"_

"_I didn't know how not to see you" "All you wanted was to keep being a cop and all I wanted was __**you**__."_

"_What's holding you?" __"You. Love working with you McNally, can't imagine my life without you. »_

"_I love you." "What?" "I do, I love you. There I said it. It's out there. Now I can stop worrying about it coming out of my mouth at a really weird time." "You mean like now?" "Look, you don't have to say it back. Okay, I don't care that you've never said it before and I don't care if you never say it. This is how I feel and, so there, I'm saying it."_

"_Do you think the universe has a plan? For us?" "Oh yeah, it was undoubtedly faith that brought you into that bar tonight."_

"_Hey, uh, look, I just wanted to say that I… I know that I've got a plan, you know, and it's a great one… But screw it. Okay, screw the plan because I don't want to save the good candy for later anymore. I want to drink the champagne now and… Okay, you've got three weeks, so let's make 'em count. Starting tonight. I'm coming over"_

I woke up suddenly, the clock was showing 12h37 and I didn't know what had woken me up like that. Even now that my eyes were open, those words where still echoing in my head. I heard this message a few days after our suspension, at that time she still hadn't given me any news, and we weren't supposed to see each other. I remember how much this message let me wanting to go see her, screw the rules.

Crazy thing was that I would've given anything I could just to be with her then, and now it was my fault if I was here alone in my bed. At this moment I heard a small knock on my door, which might have be the thing that woke me up. I quickly got out of my bed making my way across the apartment. I was really curious to see who was at the door at this late hour; Oli maybe? Andy? No… She would most likely be too angry at me to be here at this late hour.

As I opened the door, I found myself in front of the young women that had been invading my dreams, asking myself what she was doing here; I stared at her for a long moment. She was soaking wet, her hair sticking to her face and her coat dripping on my porch. She was trembling from every inch of her body and she seemed really cold, but her face was rude.

"McNally, what are you doing here?" I asked her crossing my arms, my tone a little harsher that I would've wanted to.

"You didn't tell me, you didn't tell me it was over, I need to hear it from you. After everything we've been through together, you can't just walk away without telling me that it's over, I deserve better." She said on a tone that I had almost never heard from her.

"What happened to 'You're not getting rid of me without a fight' uh? You told me all you wanted was me, you blamed me for not calling you for those three months, but you go and tell me that you can't be a cop and be with me? The Sam Swarek I thought I knew didn't have any regards for any rules, and he sure wouldn't just give up on us and serve me some kind of stupid cliché as goodbye. Where is that Sam?" She said raising her voice, almost screaming now, and looking at me with a cold look as she tried to keep her eyes dry.

"You done?" I asked rudely, she nodded, crossing her arms. "Okay. You know maybe this Sam just died too when his best friend was murdered a week ago. Maybe he just ran away when he saw how devastated Traci was, maybe he's too scare to face the fact that something like that might happen to any of us." I continued on the same tone that she used a couple of seconds before that.

"You knew it Sam; you knew right it from the beginning. It's part of our job, and you must've known that when you got in the academy." She told me, rolling her eyes.

"I thought I knew." I answered under my breath while shrugging, letting out a small sarcastic sigh.

"What does _that_ mean?" She asked me on a slightly lower tone that a few instants ago.

What that meant? It meant that I never thought I could feel something that intense for someone. Yes, I loved my sister and I had some close friends, but I had never felt something as hard before Andy. Hell, I was almost 40 and I just didn't believe that this feeling could be that intense, and I wasn't at all prepared to be that much shaken by the realization that something might happen to her. Anyway, I couldn't really tell her that.

"You know what, McNally, it doesn't matter now, I can't, I just can't do this anymore, I told you." I repeated again, unfolding my arms, letting them fall beside me.

"Yeah, guess you did that pretty well. But you never told me it was over, you just stood there, with your mouth opened, and then you walked away. I want… No I need you to tell me it's over, so I can move on with my life." She said wrinkling her eyebrows, still looking at me with that cold glaze that I wasn't at all use too.

I looked at the ceiling for a few seconds, hitting repeatedly the floor with my feet, waiting for her to start listening to me and to just go. I knew very well that I would never be able to say those words, but I couldn't just change my mind now.

"You know what? All this crap about being there when it matters and having my back, I guess it was just that. Crap." She said, throwing my own words back at me.

"Just go Andy, just… please go." I said while pinching the bridge of my nose between my fingers, sighing.

"Just say the words and I'm gone." She answered me.

She was just as suborn as I was when she wanted to. I saw that neither I nor she would back down on this subject.

"I need you to say it…" She started again, her voice a lot lower, almost shaking. "I just can't believe it, not after everything that happened in the last year." She continued while lowering her eyes on the floor.

"I just can't bear the thought of hurting you." I finally told her, lowering my voice too.

"You won't hurt me." She said looking right back at me, just like something had just pushed her to. "Trust me, you won't" She told me, trying to find my gaze, but I was still avoiding it.

"Yeah, Jerry told that to Traci too, how did that work out for her?" I said on a sarcastic tone.

"It's not the same thing, Sam." She tried to convince me while taking a step towards me.

"It's exactly the same, I can't do this, and you need to go, McNally." I told her with a harder voice, taking a step back as she took another one closer to me.

"You can't let this tear us apart. Even if we weren't cops, there would always be the possibility that one of us would get hurt crossing the street or driving our car. You can't let this stop you from feeling something. You can't go on through your life pushing everyone away because maybe you or they will get hurt, that's not how it works Sam. And for what it matters, this, what you're putting me through right now, hurts a lot worse than everything I thought I could ever feel." She said on a bitter tone.

I opened my mouth to answer her, but my words didn't seem to want to come out of my mouth and she shook her head, opening the door leading outside before looking at me one last time.

"You know what? I thought this was different, but I guess it's the same thing. I'm just meant to have everyone walk out on me, you're no better than them." She said while giving me a last harsh look that hurt me deep into my heart.

I looked at her getting out of the door and quickly walking under the rain. I just wasn't able to wrap my brain around those few last words: "_You're no better than them"_, them… Her mother, Luke… I couldn't let her leave like that, and without thinking I ran outside behind her with only my t-shirt on, realizing once outside that it was really cold tonight.

"I am." I almost screamed when I was only a few steps behind her.

She turned back to look at me and gave me a wet look while she was still trying to control her emotions. The rain was falling all around us and I told myself that we were both going to get sick by staying under it like that.

"You think you're the only one hurting right now, but guess what officer Swarek, you're not. And if you want to push me away, now, after everything that happened this week, well it makes you no better than everyone else." She began while taking a step toward me but still staying at a reasonable distance.

She quickly crossed her arms and looked at me for a moment before continuing.

"Maybe you're telling yourself that you're doing me a favor, but you really aren't, you're just kidding yourself by trying to make me believe that it is because you don't want to hurt me, but you're just protecting yourself. You know the pain you have right now? It's called feeling, and you have to deal with it, you just can't push everyone away and hope it goes well. You told me we'd work this through, but in the end it was just meaningless words." She finished before turning back towards the street and continuing to walk away.

I ran to her and caught her arm, making her turn back to look at me. Her eyes were shining with tears, but I didn't know if she was really crying or if it was drops of rain or her cheek.

"Maybe you're right, you know, maybe you are, but how does it changes things?" I asked her before letting go of her arm to run uselessly my hands in my hair, trying to shake off the water.

"It changes the fact that we don't have to go through this alone; we can rely on each other. Yes, letting people close to you means you might get hurt sometimes, but having no people at all makes this life a lot harder to go through. You can't have the good without having some bad at one point." She told me, her voice shaking a lot now, trying to make me understand her point of view.

"What if it does happen? You know… What if I get hurt, and you end up like Traci." I told her under my breath, my voice barely covering the sound of the rain that was falling around us.

"Then I'll cry my eyes out for a couple of weeks, and I'll try to go on with my life. I don't have to go through this now." She said while taking a step closer to me.

I took the next step, raising my hand to slide my fingers against her cheek, pushing back a lock of hair that was stuck on her nose. My fingers then stayed on her face, slowly caressing her wet skin with my thumb. She ran her hand in my hair while taking one last step towards me.

"I…" I tried to say, now knowing if I was going to be able to say it for once in my live.

"You don't need to tell me, I know. I know…" She hushed me, nodding as I saw a single tear escaping her eye.

She finally got her arms around me while I crushed my lips against hers almost violently, holding her wet body close to mine just like my life depended on it, and maybe it did… I had kissed her a thousand times since the day she came to see me during my undercover operation, sometimes it was soft and slow, some other times it was passionate or just sweet, but none of those kisses could compare to the one we were sharing right now.

Her hands were playing on the back of my neck as I quickly tried to slip my hands under her coat, my fingers finding the way to her cold skin. The fact that she was probably freezing crossed my mind, but I couldn't get myself to stop kissing her.

Slowly caressing my cheeks with her hands, she traced my upper lip with her tongue and I hold her even closer to me, picking her up in a quick motion as she circled my waist with her legs. How could've I let myself believe only one second that I could spent my life without her, I need this as much as I needed to breath, I needed _her_ as much as I needed to breath.

My hands still stroking her naked skin underneath her shirt, I tried as best as I could to make my way to the apartment. The rain was still falling, drenching our clothes, getting stuck onto our eyelashes, making our cold skins glow in the small light, but it didn't even bothered us. I think the whole universe could've stop turning that we wouldn't have separated.

I backed my head for a few seconds after walking inside, tearing my eyes off her face in order to close the door behind me. She didn't lose anytime and her lips were on my neck in an instant, kissing, nibbling, just on the right spot to make me shiver; she knew me so well, knowing exactly what I loved and what I didn't. I tried the best I could to remove her coat after closing the door, and I let the soaked piece of fabric fall to the floor in a wet shapeless mass.

Andy's lips found my ear as I tried to make my way towards my room, slowly stroking my earlobe with her tongue, making me quiver, but not because of the cold this time. No, this time it was in anticipation, and I could've swear that my blood had just turned to lava in my veins, I could feel every touch of her body on mine just like a trail of fire running from my head down to my toes.

Pushing the door leading to my room, she backed up a little and quickly got rid of my shirt, throwing it God knows where in the room, and sincerely, I didn't care much. She looked at me for a long moment, just like it was the first time she had ever saw me, before pressing back her lips on mine in a kiss in which she poured everything that she was feeling about me.

I took her example, and left her lips reluctantly to get her out of her shirt too. She helped me hastily and I dropped it on the floor. Time stopped for a couple of seconds as I was contemplating her, here, in my arms, so strong but yet so fragile, so perfect, so incredibly beautiful even with her red eyes that were a result of the tears… I vaguely noticed the fact that I must've been looking at her like she was the 8th wonder of the world.

She observed me with a curious look before lowering her eyes, blushing in reaction to my staring. Still holding her close to me with one hand, I slipped the other one under her chin, gently raising it with two fingers so she would look at me. Her deep brown eyes were still damp and she smiled softly.

"What?" She asked under her breath.

"God Andy…" I was only able to answer.

I slowly approached my face, brushing tenderly my noes against hers, caressing her cheek with the tips of my fingers before pushing back a lock of wet hair behind her ear. I softly put my lips against hers, the kiss staying slow and chaste for a couple of seconds before our body decided otherwise.

Lowering her gradually on the bed, my lips made their way to her neck, putting butterfly kisses over each inches of the exposed skin, staying a little longer on her clavicle, lightly biting her skin, leaving most probably some marks that would still be apparent tomorrow, but for now, we couldn't care less.

Moaning under my touch, she pulled me up so she could kiss me again, and I felt in this kiss all the passion that she was feeling at this exact moment. Without ever leaving her lips, I went working on her jeans button before fighting with the soaked material that was sticking to her skin. That's when I realized how much her skin was cold and I got a hold on the blanket before pulling it over us, trying to warm her up a bit.

"You're cold?" I asked her trying to catch my breath between kisses.

She shook her head as only answer before getting up on her elbows to join our lips again, her hands following my example, trying as well as she could to get me out of my pants. It was easier though because this kind of fabric wasn't as much trouble to remove as a pair of wet jeans. I helped her so it would be quicker and threw it at the other end of the room. I would most definitely have water all around my apartment, but it surely was the last item on my priority list, the first being unclasping her bra that seemed like it didn't want me getting it off.

Feeling my lack of success, Andy sat for a moment while I slipped a hand behind her back to support her, while the other one unclasped the piece of clothing. I stayed awed for a few seconds as I contemplated her gorgeous body that was laying under mine; she was the one to get me out of this state by deciding to remove the last piece of clothing that was still on my body.

I did the same thing before putting back my lips on her mouth, resting my whole body against hers, feeling the heat slowly running on her still cold skin.

Before Andy, I had never understood the meaning of the expression "_Making love"_… For me, sex had always been just that: sex. Whoever it was, it still stayed the same. Yes, some people had more experiences; some came to knew me better in this precise department, but for me, emotions where never part of the things that made it actually better.

However, at this precise moment, with my body against the one of the young woman in my arms, being literally one with her, not knowing where her body ended and where mine started; I understood perfectly the meaning of those words. More than a physiological need, I was getting lost in her eyes that seemed to be telling me how much she loved me; I had never felt something that strong before.

We were completely in sync, knowing perfectly the things that would make the other one moan. Yes, it was physical, but it was more than that. The world was disappearing around us as we got closer and closer to this one moment where the universe shattered in a thousand colourful pieces and where I lost myself entirely in her body.

Andy's breathing got labored as she gasped trying to regain her breath. Kissing her one last time, I slipped my hand between us, stroking her gently at the perfect spot to push her over the edge that I knew wasn't too far from her. I finally let go of her lips to look at her; her eyes were closed, her mouth slightly opened, and she had this indescribable expression on her face that she had each time we made love, a mix of lust, pleasure and pure passion.

"Open your eyes Andy." I whispered in her ear before slowly getting back, never stopping the movement of my body on hers.

She did what I told her and I gazed into her eyes, feeling all the strength of this connexion that we had between us. Waves of pleasure took over her body and I never looked away from her face while she was losing herself into the intense sensations, moaning loudly as my name made his way through her lips; I would never get tired of hearing her saying it like this.

"_Sam…_" Only a whisper, an embrace, a breath that pushed me over the edge, following behind her in this alternate universe where we were the two only one existing.

Slowly getting back down to earth, I softly laid my body on hers, trying not to hurt her, but knowing that she loved feeling my weight on her body after this intense connexion. Brushing my nose on her neck, I held her close to me, resting some small little kisses on her now warm skin.

A few minutes later, when we had both recovered a more normal breathing, I slightly moved myself to rest on my back and she lowered her head on my chest as my arm surrounded her tenderly; cuddling her close to me, keeping the warmth that we had gained earlier. Andy's small fingers were drawing random patterns on my chest while I was stroking little circles on her arm.

"What are we going to do Sam?" She asked me, her voice stable but with a small hint of discouragement.

"I can't be a cop, and be with you…" I said, repeating the words I had said earlier.

I heard her gasp as she probably wondered why everything that we just did happened if I was still thinking the same thing than I was earlier. She lifted her head to look at me with a gaze that penetrated me all the way through my soul.

"Sam…" She started before I interrupted her.

"But I can't go on with my life, and not be with you." I said before laying my lips against hers for a quick second.

"So?" She asked me, her voice letting transpire a small amount of hope.

"So were gonna try and work through this together." I simply answered with a smile.

"We're gonna work through this together." She repeated, smiling back to me before resting her head against my chest.

I snuggled her even closer to me before putting a small kiss on the top of her head. I still didn't know how we were going to do this, but I knew we were going to make it work. I just couldn't picture myself not being able to hold her close to me like I was right now. Just as Jerry had said it in his speech, Andy wasn't only a part of my life, _she_ _was my life._

Her breathing became more regular and I figured she had fallen asleep. After all, she had quite a difficult day, I realized before lowering my lips on her hair for a second time, delicately, making it a point not to wake her up.

"I love you Andy…" I whispered almost imperceptibly; the words getting out of my words without even my permission.

It had come as a revelation, I had always loved her, I just couldn't wrap my head around saying these words, but I was feeling it. I couldn't lose her, and I promised her that she wouldn't get rid of me without a fight. I cuddled her a little more closely to me, breathing in the scent that was all hers; flower shampoo, deodorant, and something just completely Andy. Yes, I was here to stay…

* * *

_So? Loved it? Hated it? Tell me all about it! __I don't quite know what to think about this one, because it's the first time I'm writing something like this and I would love to have your opinion! Thaaaanks! :D And I just can't wait for tomorrow! I NEED my Rookie Blue fix!_


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